Carol has started going to a support group for caregivers, which is great. She came home and told me an issue had come up that if the caregiver needs to be taken care of for a period of time (for instance because of a medical issue), the person with Huntington's, depending on how late in the disease he or she is, might not be able to take care of the caregiver. When you look at the issue long term, it’s hard knowing that the HD person can’t be there for the caregiver in those respects. The lopsidedness of it is difficult. The caregiver spends all this time taking care of someone knowing it likely will not be reciprocated. I said I was sorry about that.
She later told me she was frustrated that my only response was “sorry.” She did not see that as a conversation about what happens long term, how do we deal with the issue as a couple, how does she deal with the issue in order to take care of herself, because clearly that responsibility will fall on her? And how does she get me to communicate, i.e. have an actual discussion?
In the later conversation I said I was sad about not being able to take care of Carol. She pointed out she is going to have to have another hip replacement at some point, and will need her friends to take care of her. This makes it very important she keep up with her friends.
The present moment is sunny.